The Death of Summer: Birth of Fall
Leaning into the changes
TLDR: An offering of songs that are nourishing me during the changes of the seasons and life. I offer this playlist to you that you may take what you need and leave what doesn’t fit for you. I recommend putting it on shuffle and seeing what comes up for you.
I always find myself feeling a rush of energy, a push if you will, the first week of August.
Something clicks within me and alarms bells goes off that summer is on the backend with Fall knocking at our door, especially in these short growing seasons of Colorado.
I feel a sense of urgency to want to do any and all summer activities all at once.
Go to the sunflower patch, ride jet skis, eat watermelon, absorb the fresh beauties from the garden.
I find myself grasping at the edges of summer, not wanting to acknowledge the change on the horizon.
Summer is my favorite season, and I’ve always had a hard time letting go.
I feel a sense of sadness and grief of embracing the ending.
A view from my back yard a few nights ago. I’m reminded again and again, the beauty in the now.
The Universe gently sent reminders to me these last few days of the death and rebirth cycles of life.
The garden I have watched and cultivated this entire summer entered a phase closer to the ending than the beginning. The plants leaves are changing, tomatoes are ripening before my eyes and my peas and some squash plants have already finished their journey.
I stood under the trellis knowing I needed to pull up the peas and squash. Most of their bottom leaves had browned and changed colors and the peas dropped ashes of powdery mildew when moved slightly.
I knew it was time, so I thanked them for all the nourishment they provided this season, the juiciness of their fruit and the purest most deletable taste only a fresh pea brings.
I soaked in a moment of gratitude for the beauty and lessons, and I said I’ll see you next year.
Change is inevitable.
Life, death, and rebirth are inevitable, but that does not mean that any moment is less. There is grief in all aspects of loss, even if we know it is coming, even if it is what we choose.
These thoughts I’ve been having perfectly aligned with dear friends and wise mentors of mine.
In my Qoya continuing education we had an album release party for the first Qoya Inspired Movement album where the album is Embracing Change. ( I am stoked to check out this album and listen to it in it’s fullness. This album was created specifically to be used for a Qoya Inspired Movement class. I recommend checking out the album if you feel called.)
I see the changes in the signs of nature around me. One of the best parts of living on the Front Range of Colorado are the bats.
I can sit in my backyard and at dusk they show up; whizzing, swirling and flying erratically to my eyes. But I know there is nothin erratic to them; their ability in flight and sound are ones I cannot even fathom.
Not to mention, they are eating their fill of the mosquitoes in the air. They only stay for about ten minutes, so I also feel incredibly lucky whenever I get to witness a bat showing.
At the start of summer they don’t show up until well after 9 p.m. I always can tell we are racing toward the darkness of winter after the solstice because each night the bats show up a minute or two sooner.
At this point in the season, the bats are coming around 7:30 p.m. I watch them in awe whenever I get the chance. I take in the sunset and the peace that is found at the end of the day.
Each minute they arrive sooner, I have in the back of mind what that means.
Soon, they will not arrive at all, and the days will change into Fall.
I know this happens every year, and every year I have to take the time to mourn the loss of summer, so I can truly appreciate the coming seasons, which birth their own sort of different magic and opportunities.
Here’s a quick video I caught of the bats coming out for the night on an August evening.
As all of these thoughts and feelings ruminated in my brain in the first weeks of August, I was gifted with Jess Bubbico’s mini podcast Change is inevitable, where she passed on wisdom just when I needed to hear it.
I’ll share a few of my favorite gems she offered, and I also highly highly recommend you check out the her newsletter and podcast for yourself. She said,
“Nothing in our lives is going to stay completely the same.
We die a million deaths in this lifetime.” Jess Bubbico
“Think about the friendships that have come to completion for you in your lifetime. Are you friends with all the same kids you went to preschool with or elementary school with?
“You’ve said goodbye to probably romantic partners. You’ve let go of jobs. You’ve seen yourself completely shift and transform and change.
And there’s an element here of being able to celebrate endings.
“To be able to celebrate
and hold a million funerals for yourself in this lifetime.
“Being able to embrace change and be okay with change and recognize that the more we allow ourselves to move with change and to move with these periods, these death cycles, we go through and recognize, inevitably, we will be birthed into another cycle, the more joy we can feel because we’re not gripping on to what was.
“What is trying to die in your life?
What is trying to come into completion in your life right now and are you allowing yourself to fully let go of that which wants to come into completion in order to create space for new life, new realizations to come in?” Jess Bubbico
(Right?! I think that’s some powerful medicine there. I know these words hit home for me. Jess is always dropping some wisdom exactly when I need it.)
Death and birth, or rebirth, depending on how you look at it, are some of, if not, the hardest things we experience as beings on this planet, and yet we are expected and will infinitely die and rebirth again and again.
When I think of it with that perspective, I am reminded how hard it is to be human, and I can give myself infinite amounts of grace for the acceptance of it all.
This life, this weird life.
One of my best friends Taylor Daye, a wise witch, called it, “existential heartbreak,” the whole living and healing this life and the knowledge and wisdom and pain that comes with knowing more and questioning it all.
Wherever you are in your change cycle, your death and rebirth, I offer nourishments for your heart and soul and a dose of grace to remember not to go so hard on yourself.
I’ve also included some music that is resonating with me during this season of life. I offer this playlist to you that you may take what you need and leave what doesn’t fit for you. I recommend putting it on shuffle and seeing what comes up for you.
From my heart to yours as you hold ceremony and celebration for all the funerals happening in your sphere.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Alex